איינער טרעפט אמאל זיין חבר פרעגט ער עם וואס טוסטו היינט צו טאגס? איך האנדל מיט שקר. איך קויף שקר און פארקויף שקר. פרעגט ער עם נו וויאזוי גייט עס ? די שקר איז טאקע זייער גרויס דער פראבלעם איז נאר אז די שקר איז מער פון די בזיונות.
-צו די בעפארשטייענדע וואלן א איד אין א"י האט געוואלט דעמאנסטרירן פאר די וועלט אז א ער גייט נישט צו די בחירות האט ער ארויס געהאנגען א גרויסע סיין אויף זיין הויז " איך מיט מיין ווייב שטימען נישט"
העי! דו, זיי נישט אזוי פארזעצט,
עפעס א לחלוחיות גוטסקייט איז אראפגערונען צו דיר אויך, אז דו וועסט עס איינזען וועסטו אנהייבן שפירן אז אך טוב וחסד ירדפוני.
An compter technician got a call from a user, who said that his computer was not working. He described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced.
“Unplug the power cord and bring itin,” he instructed. “I will fix it.”
About 15 minutes later, he shows up at his door with power cord in hand.
A judge reviewed the record a criminal defendant whose face looked vaguely familiar and found that the man was a career criminal, except for an eight-year period in which there were no convictions. “Milton,” he asked, “how is it that you were able to stay out of trouble for eight years?” “I was in prison,” he replied. “You should know that – you put me there.” “That’s impossible. I wasn’t even a judge then.” “No, you weren’t the judge then,” the defendant said, smiling mischievously. “You were my lawyer.”
A young man professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define “great,” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, and howl in pain and anger!”
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
“Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. “Can you make this thing work for me?”
“Certainly,” said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper and pressed the start button.
“Excellent, excellent!” said the CEO, as his paper disappeared inside the machine. “I just need one copy.”
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
“Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. “Can you make this thing work for me?”
“Certainly,” said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper and pressed the start button.
“Excellent, excellent!” said the CEO, as his paper disappeared inside the machine. “I just need one copy.”
#אוטש
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
“Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. “Can you make this thing work for me?”
“Certainly,” said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper and pressed the start button.
“Excellent, excellent!” said the CEO, as his paper disappeared inside the machine. “I just need one copy.”
העי! דו, זיי נישט אזוי פארזעצט,
עפעס א לחלוחיות גוטסקייט איז אראפגערונען צו דיר אויך, אז דו וועסט עס איינזען וועסטו אנהייבן שפירן אז אך טוב וחסד ירדפוני.
