How should we view those frum Jews who are ostentatious in displaying their wealth?
You know the answer yourself, what is there to talk about? No good is done to the children when their parents indulge in luxuries. There is no question even a frum boy or girl is not the same, unless a wealthy father and mother insist on moderation in what the children are allowed to have. It's possible for the wealthiest of people to live with the ideals of Torah if they are aware of the issues involved. Now, the mere fact that somebody builds a wealthy home and shows off his prosperity, that's not such a tragedy. Why not? If he has the money let him do what he wants with it. But we're talking about indulging in intemperance (self-indulgence, greed).
Travel for instance, is a way of wasting money and wasting one's life. Just because people have money to go to places, doesn't mean that it's necessary for them to go. If they are looking for happiness elsewhere, they are sure to be disappointed. The true happiness is found in an idealistic home. Just to say that I need change in order to relieve my mind, is an excuse of imitating the ways of the Gentiles. When Jews learn how to enjoy the values of Judaism, going to the Beis Haknesses is an enjoyable experience; you learn how to daven with kavono, you'll love it. When you sit home and Hakadosh Baruch Hu is giving you a sumptuous supper, you thank your wife and tell her how good the supper is, compliment her, and then enjoy it. And then turn to Hakadosh Baruch Hu in birchas hamozon full of gratitude, but bentch. I used to learn with a Lubavitcher person, my Rebbe for a year when I was boy, and I used to see him bentch; it was a birchas hamozon worth remembering, his bentching took longer than his eating. The purpose of eating is to bentch!
It's so important for people to learn how to enjoy avodas Hashem. There are some people who really love to learn Torah, their happiness is learning. When they have a vacation, they don't want to go anyplace, all they want is to go to the Beis Hamedrash, shivti b'veis Hashem kol y'mei chayei, the greatest happiness really is the simchas Hatorah.
Of course all these things need sechel, and they need training, but everbody needs sechel to learn how to enjoy life, otherwise what would you do? You'll begin imitating goyim and going for entertainment. Entertainment is a Gentile attitude. There is no such word for it in the Jewish lexicon. And it means finding ways and means of wasting your life. In the meantime while you are doing it, you act as if you're enjoying it, and many times you are paying money for it too. But when people learn how to enjoy life in the simple kosher and truthful ways, they'll begin understanding that there is anentirely different way of being happy.
Even if you learn how to enjoy a walk. You enjoy looking at the sky and breathing fresh air, these are the simple pleasures that after a while they grow on you and it's worth more than all the money in the world.
And so we say to our wealthy brothers, you want to build expensive homes, why not, go ahead. Of course keep in mind that some of your money has to go to Hakadosh Baruch Hu in recognition that He gave it to you. But also keep in mind that intemperance, wasting money, and going all out for pleasures is the opposite of pleasure. When people learn how to become connoisseurs in mashke, and he has a basement full of all kinds of liquors, he has a collection of poisons. Schnapps is actually a poison. Sometimes you might need a little bit for a toothache, or for a sore throat, but when people consider it a career, and many people are able to tell the differences in tastes and in vintages, that's already an intemperance and it will never lead to anything good, it's the opposite of good health too. Any form of intemperance is a ruination for a person's mind and for a person's body.
And so to our wealthy brothers we say, take your money and invest it, and keep on becoming wealthier, Hashem should give you happiness. But always remember that the real happiness does not come from things that can be bought with money.
A Moment with Rabbi Avigdor Miller Zt"l #442
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